http://perezhilton.com/2008-12-29-engaged-8
And my heart sinks, for the thought of Zooey engaging herself to a twatburger with cheese is horrifying. Especially since I am way more attractive and way more available.
But then, a retraction!
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/zooey-deschanel-engaged-to-death-cab-for-cutie-rocker
...What the fuck am I supposed to feel about this? This is like a sci-fi nerd with a huge crush on Starbuck finding out that she's getting married to Malcom Reynolds from Firefly.
SOMEONE CONSOLE ME PLS
Look at it this way, buddy. It could have been worse. I mean, come on - Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel together? That's like putting my favorite ice cream on top of my other favorite ice cream. It's feasible that Ben Gibbard is on the short list of famous people we can most identify, so in that way - and especially when listening to Death Cab & the Postal Service, we are sort of engaged to Zooey Deschanel by proxy. Ben Gibbard is the Everyman of indie culture, so it stands to reason that instead of indie culture's pin-up sweetheart getting hitched to a stranger, it's more like your best girl friend whom you vaguely have a crush for marrying, say, your best friend. Despite a slight pang of disappointment that I'll never be able to have her in my bed (unless Ben's into that sort of thing), I approve.
Besides, maybe she'll lend her voice to future records. And that's just too wonderful a prospect.
I think that hoping for a sexy fun fivesome with Ben, you, me, Owen, and Zooey is about all any of us could really hope for.
As an aside, fuck you, Pitchfork. "Cue the sound of thousands of blogger hearts breaking."
I think that hoping for a sexy fun fivesome with Ben, you, me, Owen, and Zooey is about all any of us could really hope for.
As an aside, fuck you, Pitchfork. "Cue the sound of thousands of blogger hearts breaking."
Couples therapy would be cheap. All Zooey would have to do to gauge her relationship would be to listen to Ben's new albums. If you're the Talking Bird you know he's tired of you burning his dinner.
oh my god. I just realized. What the hell do those two eat?! Are they vegetarians? Do they cook their own meals? Do they subside on veggie wraps from sketchy, independently owned diners next to concert venues? Or do they just dine on lyrics?
oh my god. I just realized. What the hell do those two eat?! Are they vegetarians? Do they cook their own meals? Do they subside on veggie wraps from sketchy, independently owned diners next to concert venues? Or do they just dine on lyrics?
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